Joe McQuaid's Publisher's Notebook: Yanks' pitcher could have used AG's help
Among my favorite news stories last week: the IRS workers who didn't pay their taxes but were nonetheless honored with a recognition program; the New York Yankees pitcher who put pine tar on his neck; and the New Hampshire Attorney General's recipe for pressed duck, with whine, in Nashua.
Let's start with that last one.
A state representative, who had been drinking at a hotel, gets into his car, drives the wrong way out of the parking lot, killing several ducks in the process. People see this and yell at Rep. David Campbell. He is heard expressing concern for his reputation, and disappears. (I'm thinking if the people knew he was the guy pushing the gas tax increase in Concord, his reputation would have been in tatters anyway.)
Campbell, a Nashua lawyer, calls another lawyer, Thomas Pappas, who isn't his regular lawyer but just happens to be a Nashua Police Commissioner. The Commish doesn't drive his new client to the police station or back to the scene. But he does call the police and asks if it's okay if his new client waits until the next day to go see them. (Did I mention the guy doing the asking is a police commissioner? I thought so.)
Attorney General Joe Foster, another Nashua lawyer and, before he got his new job, a legislative colleague of Campbell, declines to recuse his office from the case. Instead, the office investigates and concludes, in a detailed 14-page report, that Campbell and Pappas lied. (Excuse me. The report said something like, if you buy the story these guys are selling, you will love this Nigerian bank scheme we are offering.)
And? And there will be no charges pressed, thank you very much.
I suppose it could be worse. If Joe Foster's gang was umpiring the Red Sox game last Wednesday night, Yankee pitcher Michael Pineda would have stayed in the game, pine tar and all.
I can see the report now: The overwhelming evidence of the sticky substance on Mr. Pineda's neck being pine tar is not without reasonable doubt that he believes what he told us.
In fact, Foster's gang may have written Pineda's excuse. He said it was cold out and he was afraid that without having an illegal substance to rub on the ball, he might have lost control and hit someone.
I have to check, but I think it reasonable to assume that Pineda may at one time have been a Nashua lawyer. Or at least a Democrat.
If the IRS gets wind of Pineda, he will probably get a bonus.
Write to Joe McQuaid at Publisher@UnionLeader.com or on Twitter at @Deucecrew