Roger Simon: On Syria, Good Roger vs Bad Roger
"We must stop the needless, senseless, indefensible murder of children," Good Roger said. "The United States must act to stop the slaughter of the innocent."
"I am talking about Syria!" Good Roger shouted. "We must protect the children of Syria."
"But Syria doesn't have the Second Amendment. So we can kill Syrians to keep them from killing other Syrians!"
Good Roger is the decent, sincere, well-meaning side of me. Nobody much likes him.
Bad Roger is the snarky, sarcastic, cynical side of me. People often buy him drinks.
Good Roger has kept the book ever since he heard that George Will never goes on TV without deft and witty quotations written on his shirt sleeves.
"There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action," Bad Roger said.
"Yes, from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe," Bad Roger said.
"Is he an American?" Good Roger asked.
"No, a foreigner, so you can bomb him with impunity," Bad Roger said. "He also has been dead for 181 years."
"Can we stop talking about this?" Bad Roger said. "There is a 'Duck Dynasty' marathon on A&E that I don't want to miss."
"I am not done quoting," Good Roger said. "'Speak softly and carry a big stick.' Teddy Roosevelt said that 112 years ago this week."
"Congress is a cornerstone of democracy!" Good Roger said.
"It has a lower approval rating than bad breath. And President Obama decides to turn over his foreign policy to Congress for its approval? Pure folly."
"In Libya, Obama led from behind," Bad Roger said. "In Syria, Obama is letting a bunch of behinds lead him."
"President Obama grew very worried when the British Parliament refused to back an attack on Syria."
"If George Washington had worried about what the British Parliament wanted, we all would be driving on the left side of the road today," Bad Roger said. "And have bad teeth."
"This decision to go to Congress has badly split this administration," said Bad Roger. "I saw John Kerry the other day, and I said, 'Why the long face?'"
"I can say anything," Bad Roger said. "I'm Bad Roger."
Roger Simon is Politico's chief political columnist.
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