Joe McQuaid's Publisher's Notebook: Mite not be best idea to live on light, cheese
Let them eat mites, I say.
Our back page last week carried the odd story of a Seattle woman who has given up trying to live on light and a bit of tea "with a splash of milk."
Gives a whole new meaning to the term "light lunch," doesn't it? I must have been out golfing when this new trend began. It is called "breatharianism" and it is a belief that sunshine can substitute for food. Coincidentally, the woman's last name is Shine.
According to the story, "Doctors have warned that it is not possible for humans to photosynthesize, and four deaths have been linked to people who apparently had tried."
But wait, there's more.
Little Ms. Shine, age 65, has given up on her project in part because she has run out of money.
Come again? I would think she had to be saving quite a bit on her food budget. But she does live in Seattle, so perhaps the Starbucks tea bill was getting to her.
She might try living on cheese. I hear some varieties have plenty of protein.
That was another odd story last week.
U.S. cheese lovers are upset with the government banning certain French cheeses because, the feds say, the cheese has too many mites.
That's mites, as in little bugs crawling around in the rounds. But the cheese sellers say the mites are a necessary part of the cheese.
Matter of fact, I have seen cheeseheads on TV at Green Bay Packers games and they were moving. Must have been mites walking around beneath them.
Ms. Shine said it wasn't just a lack of money that made her turn off her light diet. She also cited public reaction.
"I was just asking a question, but there was just so much negative response that that means the question can't even be asked," she told the Seattle Times, whose story we ran.
I'm not afraid to ask questions. Here is one: Now that medicinal marijuana is coming to New Hampshire, can joint sessions of the Legislature be far behind?
And another: I am still in mourning that Phil Mickelson didn't win the U.S. Open. Justin Rose won. In most tourneys, the winner's caddy cuts off the flag of the 18th hole as a souvenir for the new champ.
But there were no flags at Merion Country Club. They use big wicker baskets instead. Did the caddy take a basket?
One more: Will Cap'n Crunch be promoted? Turns out the little guy on the cereal box has been wearing a uniform with not enough stripes to qualify for captaincy. The country is going to heck, I fear.
Write to Joe McQuaid at firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow him on Twitter at @deucecrew.